you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
