I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
