i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize