He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
