is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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