Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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