This is not my ceiling
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
