So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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