when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
