i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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