I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
