Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize