Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
