this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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