I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
