Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
