i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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