my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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