her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
