If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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