The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
