oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The Olympian is in my bed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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