The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
