Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
