You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.