I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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