He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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