But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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