All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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