Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
