How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
