i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
