I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
