Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
