i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.