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sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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