I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My Higher Power is John Stamos
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?