Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.