id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im part way to drunk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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