Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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