C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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