My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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