I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
