A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
