i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
