The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
