I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
