I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
