Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
