how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
