You can't motorboat a personality
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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