Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
