The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
