my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
