Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
