my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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