Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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