So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...