I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
