pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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