she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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